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Woeful Wonders and Stupendous Blunders

by The Legendary Ten Seconds

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1.
Golden Pathway Records 00:22
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Why don't you check out Golden Pathway Records to hear the Legendary Ten Seconds
2.
What Else Can I Do 01:52
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Sometimes you know you get that sinking feeling When all of a sudden I knew you'd be leaving What else can I do Cause in my heart I know I'm losing you Pick up a pen I could write you a letter But then again a text might be better What else can I do Cause in my heart I know I'm losing you Maybe we could still be friends But I know this love must end Sometimes you know you get that kind of feeling When all of a sudden I knew you'd be leaving What else can I do
3.
Chapter Twenty Nineken Lager 00:22
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4.
Last Goodbye 02:37
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She said goodbye again but this last farewell won’t be the end How many more tears will she cry and why I hurt I don’t know why I’m so restless I’m unsure I think she’s there outside the door Into my arms she will fly so much for the last goodbye I don’t want to take you for granted And when we fall out I can’t stand it So please come back and we can start again I miss you so I just can’t pretend She said goodbye again will this last farewell be the end How many more tears will I cry and why she hurts me I don’t know why I’m so nervous I’m unsure I wait and wait but there’s no call Into despair I will fly oh yes it was the last goodbye
5.
Fagends Toothpaste 01:16
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Use fagends toothpaste day and night And soon your teeth will be whiter than white Fagends toothpaste yo Fagends toothpaste yo You smoke too much Your teeth are brown But fagends toothpaste will take away your frown Fagends toothpaste yo Fagends toothpaste yo Use fagends toothpaste day and night And soon your teeth will be whiter than white Use fagends toothpaste yo Fagends toothpaste yo
6.
Can't Find a Girlfriend 02:16
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I can’t find a girlfriend anywhere Tried lonely hearts and under the stairs Looked in the cupboard and in the hall I had a dream she was living next door Now you know why I’m feeling blue I need a girl just like you You don’t know what I’m going through I need a girl just like you I can’t find a girlfriend anywhere On the internet or wearing flares Tried using glasses and a telescope It’s out of focus my life’s a joke Now you know why I’m feeling blue I need a girl just like you You don’t know what I’m going through I need a girl just like you I’m going to have search The whole wide world Just to find a certain kind of girl I can’t find a girlfriend anywhere I ask and ask but no one cares Bought a fast car to be cool Wrapped it round a lamp post what a fool Now you know why I’m feeling blue I need a girl just like you You don’t know what I’m going through I need a girl just like you
7.
Hairloss 2000 00:33
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Don’t worry if you’re going thin on top You need Hairloss 2000 Hair replacement gel just slap it on You need Hairloss 2000 Your bald patch will disappear When you use Hairloss 2000 You can throw away your toupee When you use Hairloss 2000
8.
Senlac Ridge 2007 version 02:38
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At Stamford Bridge King Harold Took the Vikings by surprise But shortly after victory From the south bad news arrived William had landed To claim the English throne He had the Pope's blessing Men at arms and knights so bold Harold raced back to London His soldiers close behind Receiving news of rape and pillage In the Wessex countryside Harold was determined Not to waste precious time Though his army was depleted He had courage he had pride From the woods the Saxons gathered Out on Senlac Ridge Though they were weary They would not give an inch Up the slope the Normans charged The shield wall held firm The Normans they fell back William had them charge once more The battle raged on all day An arrow took out Harold's eye The shield wall was broken Beneath the autumn skies Yes the battle raged on all day An arrow took out Harold's eye The shield wall was broken Beneath the autumn skies
9.
Gravelines 01:52
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10.
Jerry Builders 01:03
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Slapdash and bodgit jerry builders You need a new roof so we start right away Slapdash and bodgit jerry builders Remove all the tiles and it starts to rain Slapdash and bodgit jerry builders Your house falls down and you start to complain Slapdash and bodgit jerry builders We return all your post marked gone away Slapdash and bodgit jerry builders Just remember Rome wasn’t built in a day
11.
Too Much to Leave Behind 03:11
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Fed up with all the flak directed at me I’ve lost the will to live and I’m my knees Going to quit my job and do as I please Going to buy a boat and sail the seven seas By tomorrow I’ll have changed my mind It’s so hard to decide By tomorrow I’ll be staying put There’s too much to leave behind I’m selling the house going to live in a tent And then I’m travelling to my heart’s content By tomorrow I’ll have changed my mind It’s so hard to decide By tomorrow I’ll be staying put There’s too much to leave behind Yes I’m chucking in work I’ve as good as resigned And then I’m off travelling while I’ve still got time By tomorrow I’ll have changed my mind It’s so hard to decide By tomorrow I’ll be staying put There’s too much to leave behind
12.
Dance With Me 02:34
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Your so pretty and carefree There’s no chance you’d look at me All the guys give you the eye Except for me I’m far too shy Please please dance me Just like in my dreams Please please look at me Won’t you even look at me Your so pretty and carefree There’s no chance you’d want me My heart is aching and it’s true All I want is to hold you Please please dance me Just like in my dreams Please please look at me Won’t you even look at me Your so pretty and carefree There’s no chance you’d want me My heart is aching and it’s true All I want is to hold you Please please dance me Just like in my dreams Please please look at me Won’t you even look at me
13.
Laxative Tablets 00:23
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about

Recorded from 2003 until 2007 at Rock Lee, Torquay.

Artwork by Graham Moores

All music and lyrics composed by Ian Churchward except Fagends Toothpaste music composed by Guy Bolt and Stephen Spills his Curry composed by Steve Honeywill.

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released October 29, 2023

Ian Churchward vocals, guitars
Guy Bolt vocals, keyboards and drums
Nigel Howells speaking
Steve Honeywill vocals on Stephen Spills his Curry

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The Legendary Ten Seconds Torquay, UK

The Legendary Ten Seconds started off as the solo music project of Ian Churchward during the time when he was the lead guitar player of The Morrisons who were featured on John Peel's radio one show back in 1987. In 2013 Lord Zarquon joined Ian's music project and since then the line up has gradually expanded and various guest musician's and vocalists have helped out in the recording studio. ... more

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